A Guide to Protecting Your Future During a Michigan Divorce
A divorce is not just a legal process; it's an emotional earthquake. It’s one of the most stressful events anyone can go through. When you are overwhelmed, hurt, and just trying to get through the day, it is incredibly easy to make decisions based on emotion, or just to get it over with. The problem is, these early mistakes can have devastating, long-term consequences on your finances, your assets, and your relationship with your children.
As Michigan divorce attorneys, we've seen it all. We've seen good people make small mistakes that cost them hundreds of thousands of dollars. We've also guided clients who, by staying calm and strategic, protected their future. Your goal right now is to get through this with your dignity and your financial health intact. The first step is avoiding these common pitfalls.
Mistake 1: Hiding Assets or Lying About Finances
Let's be clear: This is the cardinal sin of divorce, and it is a massive, unforced error. You may be tempted to "forget" about a separate bank account, "lose" a stock statement, or "under-report" your income, thinking you're protecting what's yours. You are not. You are walking into a trap.
Judges in Michigan have zero patience for this. You are required by law to provide full financial disclosure. If you are caught (and you will be, forensic accountants and discovery requests find everything), you will lose all credibility with the court. A judge who sees you as a liar is more likely to rule against you on *every other issue*, from property division to custody. Worse, the court can punish you by awarding a *larger* share of the marital assets to your spouse and even ordering you to pay their attorney fees. This isn't just a mistake; it's a-self-destructive act.
Mistake 2: Using Social Media as a Public Diary
In a modern divorce, your social media feed is not your diary; it's the other side's Exhibit A. Every "venting" post, every angry comment, and every "checking in" at a bar or restaurant *will* be screenshot and *will* be used against you.
That photo of your new "friend"? It can inflame the case and be used to argue for "fault." That vacation you took? It will be used to argue you don't need spousal support. That post about your ex being a "bad parent"? It will be shown to the judge as proof that you can't co-parent, which is a key factor in the "best interests of the child" analysis. The solution is simple: Stop. Go dark. Do not post anything about your divorce, your case, your emotions, or your social life. Period.
Mistake 3: Putting the Children in the Middle
This is the most damaging mistake a parent can make. Asking your kids, "Who do you want to live with?" Using them to pass messages to your ex. Bad-mouthing your spouse in front of them. These actions are not only emotionally harmful to your children, but they are also a disaster for your custody case.
A Michigan judge's *only* concern in a custody dispute is the 12 "best interests of the child" factors. One of the most important factors is the "willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship with the other parent." When you put your kids in the middle, you are handing your ex's attorney perfect evidence that you are *unwilling* to do this. A judge may see you as the problem and grant the other parent more parenting time as a result.
Mistake 4: Moving Out of the Marital Home Too Soon
This is a tactical trap. In the heat of an argument, leaving the marital home feels like the only option. But you must talk to a lawyer *before* you move. Why? Because you may be accidentally setting a "status quo" for child custody. If you move out and leave the children in the home with your spouse for two months, you've just created a new routine. When you go to court, the judge's first question will be "Where are the kids living right now?" A judge is often reluctant to disrupt a stable routine, and you've just handed your spouse the argument that *they* are the primary, stable parent.
(Note: This does not apply to situations of domestic violence. If you are unsafe, your priority is to leave and get to safety, and the court understands this.)
Mistake 5: Starting a New Relationship During the Divorce
You may be separated, but you are still legally married. Starting to date is like pouring gasoline on an already raging fire. It inflames emotions, creates jealousy, and makes a simple, amicable settlement almost impossible. Your spouse, who may have been reasonable, is now hurt and angry, and their lawyer will be instructed to fight you on everything.
Furthermore, in Michigan, "fault" *can* be a factor. While Michigan is a "no-fault" state to *get* a divorce, a judge can still consider "the past relations and conduct of the parties" when dividing property or awarding spousal support (alimony). Spending marital money on a new partner (a dinner, a hotel, a gift) is called "dissipation of assets," and a judge can force you to pay that money back to your spouse. It also looks terrible in a custody dispute. Just wait.
Mistake 6: Making Emotional Decisions About Financial Assets
Divorce is a legal process for dissolving a financial partnership. You must treat it like a business transaction. People who let emotions rule their finances make two classic mistakes:
- Fighting for the "wrong" things. Many people fight to the death to keep the marital home because of its emotional attachment. But they fail to realize they can't afford the mortgage, taxes, and upkeep on their own. They "win" the house only to lose it to foreclosure two years later.
- Giving up the "right" things. Just to "get it over with," people will waive their right to their spouse's 401(k) or pension. This is a catastrophic mistake. That retirement account is often the single largest marital asset after the house, and you are entitled to an equitable share. Don't walk away from your future.
Also, don't forget about marital debt. In Michigan's "equitable distribution" system, debts are divided just like assets. Don't agree to take the house if it also means taking on all the credit card debt.
Mistake 7: Commingling Separate and Marital Property
This is a technical but critical financial error. Let's say you had an inheritance of $50,000 *before* your marriage. That is your separate property and is not subject to division. But during the marriage, you deposit that $50,000 into a joint checking account and use it to pay bills and go on vacations. You have just "commingled" those funds. You've turned your separate property into marital property, and it is now on the table to be divided with your spouse. Keep your separate property in a separate account, in your name only.
Your Best Defense: A Knowledgeable Guide
A divorce is overwhelming. It’s hard to see the future when you're stuck in the emotional fog of the present. These mistakes are common because they are made by people in pain, not by bad people. The best way to avoid them is to not go through this alone.
An experienced divorce attorney isn't just a "fighter." They are your guide, your strategist, and your shield. At Shiraz Law Firm, we help you see the long-term picture and navigate these complex issues. We're here to help you move forward, not just from your marriage, but toward a secure and stable future.
